Singapore McDonald’s Introduces ‘Deconstructed’ Nasi Lemak Burger

  DHOBY GAUNT: Singaporean fast food aficionados have been politely queuing up for hours today after local McDonald’s outlets began serving a new dish they are calling the ‘deconstructed nasi lemak burger.’ “The nasi lemak burger sold out in just two weeks,” explained Singapore McDonalds culinary innovations engineer, Guy Hia, “so we asked ourselves, ‘how […]

Jakim Confirms McDonalds Eaters Go To Heaven – Doctors Warn It May Happen Sooner Than You Think

KUALA LUMPUR:  Today the Department of Islamic Development Malaysia (Jakim) assured concerned Muslims they will still go to heaven eating McDonalds, with health experts saying eating enough high-cholesterol Big Macs and Quarter Pounders could get you there sooner rather than later. “McDonalds is a valid halal certificate owner,”confirmed a Jakim spokesman, “despite social media rumours, […]

Malaysian boycotters, McDonalds, negotiate 24hr ceasefire

Submitted by Multinational Fast Food Protest Editor, TERENGGANU: Pro-palestinian Malaysian boycotters and McDonalds are continuing talks in Dungun this week, with many hopeful of an end to the recent bitter conflict. “McDonalds have occupied Malaysia, and attacked Muslims with their irresistable high cholesterol menu.  They have no regard for the lives of innocent children.” said […]

Penang McDonalds restaurants say only Americans can cook Big Macs

Submitted by Racially Profiled Cooking Editor, GEORGETOWN:  Penang McDonalds restaurants released a statement today, saying it would no longer allow Malaysians to cook burgers in its restaurants to protect the cultural authenticity of its American cuisine. “We will be sending covert fast food kitchen inspectors to ensure nobody from Asia cooks Big Macs,” said a […]