PM Arrives For Trump Talks Sporting Bold New Look

  WASHINGTON: Arriving ahead of his first official meeting with Donald Trump since he became President, diplomatic officials close to Najib Razak confirmed the Malaysian PM will be showcasing a bold new look demonstrating his government’s commitment to boosting ties with the United States. “Najib spent most of the flight onboard ‘NR1’ prepping for his […]

PM Demands Trump Reverse Muslim Ban In Powerful Daydream

PUTRAJAYA:  Today Malaysia’s Prime Minister and self-appointed champion of Muslims, Najib Abdul Razak, flayed US President Donald Trump over his policy to prevent Muslim refugees from entering the United States in a confrontational 15 minute daydream. “The PM looked pretty pleased with himself after nodding off for a few minutes,” a witness to the satisfying […]

AirAsia US Flights To Be Mostly Americans Fleeing Trump Presidency

SEPANG:  Today AirAsia confirmed it was confident newly announced flights between the United States and Asia will be far more successful than the previously abandoned AirAsia X long-haul European services. “Since the U.S. Federal Aviation Administration approval went public, we’ve been flooded with interest from desperate American refugees escaping Donald Trump’s Presidency.” a spokesman for […]

Tabloids welcome new celebrity couple Donjib

KUALA LUMPER:  Today local gossip tabloids welcomed new celebrity couple ‘Donjib’ after Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak reconnected with old friend and now President-elect, Donald Trump. “The PM was beaming after his telephone conversation with Donald,” a source confirmed, “sometimes when you’re interested in someone, you don’t want to appear too eager, but […]

So the guy who lost the popular vote still won your election? What’s that feel like? M’sians ask US

MALAYSIA:  Upon hearing the surprise outcome of the 15-month US presidential democratic process, many Malaysians found themselves struggling to relate to American voters dismayed by Donald Trump’s victory. “It must be really hard to live in a democratic country when ‘your guy’ isn’t running the show, “said a Malaysian, “I’m sure you’ll get through it […]

To boost US ties, Malaysian officials offer to buy Trump penthouses

PUTRAJAYA:  Today Malaysia’s political elite reaffirmed the Prime Minister’s assurances a Donald Trump presidency will not affect Malaysia’s relationship with the US. “The PM says he has a golfing friendship with the new president elect, but we Malaysians still need to work at it,” a source confirmed, “if it means using some surplus Chinese investment […]

Soros – I Was Having So Much Fun Toppling Najib I Forgot To Topple Trump

WASHINGTON:  Today Malaysians blamed billionaire George Soros for being so distracted with his obsession with toppling Malaysia’s democratically elected government, that he completely forgot to rig the US election and save the planet from a Trump presidency. “I had it down in my diary to fix voting machines in US swing states,” a miserable Soros […]