DNA analysis reveals Cadbury chocolate in man’s rectum

Submitted by Anal Confectionery DNA Editor, BANGI:  Saiful’s legal council is on the defensive this week after tests revealed the presence of suspicious chocolate products in his back passage. “We refute this irresponsible charge,” said his lawyer, “My client maintains that he has not consumed chocolate bars in hotel rooms as alleged by certain quarters […]

Millions of disadvantaged Malaysian children suffering meals without iPads

Submitted by Gadget Deficit Disorder Editor, KUALA LUMPUR:  A study conducted by the Ministry of Education has revealed that millions of Malaysian Children are eating breakfast, lunch and dinner without a tablet screen to stare at. “These are very damning results,” said a Ministry spokesman, “it means that thousands of hours of educational video watching […]

If I was Prime Minister, I would introduce smaller bikinis says Tourism Minister

Submitted by Pointless Political Aspirations Editor, PUTRAJAYA:   With the nation in mourning, Malaysian politicians decided to indulge in some idle speculation about what it would be like if they were to lead the country. “If I was Malaysian Prime Minister,” said Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad, “I would censor the internet.  Sometimes the government needs to […]

Water crisis solved: Terengganu MB to tapau icebergs on new Antarctic voyage

Submitted by Climate Crisis Editor, KUALA TERENGGANU:  Parched Malaysians across the peninsula breathed a sigh of relief today with the announcement that state renowned climate change expert Terengganu Menteri Besar Ahmad Said had a practical solution to the current water crisis. “I will lead a follow-up delegation to Antarctica this Saturday,” he informed reporters, “unlike […]

Malaysian stock picking genius beats Warren Buffett

Submitted by: Business Editor KUALA LUMPUR:   The Securities Commission Malaysia (SCM) and Bursa Malaysia today honored 22-year-old college student Isa Nomini binti Abdul Aziz whose investing prowess has put Wall Street legends like Warren Buffett, Peter Lynch and Jim Rogers to shame! On 7th September of 2008 Isa purchased 500,000 shares of No Hope Enterprise Bhd […]