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By Editor On Tuesday, January 31st, 2017
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Govt warns Mara: Removing someone to make way for impartial probe not how we do things

KUALA LUMPUR:  Today the Prime Minister’s Office gave Mara a stern warning for going against standard government protocols and actually suspending somebody senior to make way for an independent probe into More...

By Editor On Monday, January 30th, 2017
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PM Demands Trump Reverse Muslim Ban In Powerful Daydream

PUTRAJAYA:  Today Malaysia’s Prime Minister and self-appointed champion of Muslims, Najib Abdul Razak, flayed US President Donald Trump over his policy to prevent Muslim refugees from entering the United States More...

By Editor On Thursday, January 26th, 2017
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Taiwan accuses Malaysia of stockpiling pearls, having Chatime bubble tea replacement programme

TAIPEI:  Today Taiwan beverage security officials accused Malaysia of having a secret Chatime bubble tea replacement programme. “It appears our disgruntled Malaysian franchisee Loob Holdings isn’t taking their More...

By Editor On Wednesday, January 25th, 2017
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AirAsia US Flights To Be Mostly Americans Fleeing Trump Presidency

SEPANG:  Today AirAsia confirmed it was confident newly announced flights between the United States and Asia will be far more successful than the previously abandoned AirAsia X long-haul European services. “Since More...

By Editor On Monday, January 23rd, 2017
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Man Seriously Thinking About Removing Plastic Car Seat Covers From ’86 Proton Saga

KERTEH:  Today keropok quality inspector, Abdullah Bin Bakar shocked his family and friends by announcing he is seriously thinking of removing the manufacturer’s protective plastic seat covers from the backseat More...

By Editor On Thursday, January 19th, 2017
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Satisfying Terengganu Authorities, Unmarried Woman Commuter Weds Uber Driver

KUALA TERENGGANU:  Complying with the inevitable Religious Affairs requirements, 21-year-old civil servant, Fadzilah Binti Abang married her Uber ride-sharing pickup 31-year-old Abdullah Bin Bakar this morning More...

By Editor On Thursday, January 19th, 2017
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MACC Offering Bribes To Civil Servants Who Report Bribes

PETALING JAYA:  Deputy chief commissioner Datuk Shamsun Bahrin Mohd Jamil confirmed Malaysian’s Anti Corruption Commission (MACC) would offer kickbacks to whistle-blowers reporting civil servants accepting them. “I More...

By Editor On Wednesday, January 18th, 2017
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PM open to performing at Trump inauguration if US drops kleptocracy probe

PUTRAJAYA:  Well-placed trade officials keen to strengthen Malaysia’s US ties have indicated a willingness for Prime Minister Najib Tun Razak to sing at Donald Trump’s inauguration ball this Friday, after More...

By Editor On Monday, January 16th, 2017
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BR1M not a bribe but handy for staging pre-election photo ops

PUTRAJAYA:  Today Barisan National experts confirmed while 1Malaysia People’s Aid (BR1M) is not a bribe, staging orchestrated handouts in front of the media, hasn’t exactly hurt the PM’s popularity More...

By Editor On Wednesday, January 11th, 2017
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Botched Circumcision Doctor Opens Penis Ring Removal Clinic

JOHOR:  Malaysian men hoping to boost sexual performance/pleasure by squeezing their ‘KL towers’ into tight-fitting metallic rings, welcomed a new metallic penis ring removal specialty clinic opening here More...

By Editor On Tuesday, January 10th, 2017
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Exciting new mall has exact same shops as old mall

PETALING JAYA:   Tired of his regular hangouts, this week Peter Chin and family experienced the joy of visiting the exact same shops they normally frequent in an exciting new mall which just opened. “We More...

By Editor On Monday, January 9th, 2017
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Nation relieved despite rampant civil servant corruption, leaders remain squeaky clean

MALAYSIA:  Reeling from almost daily revelations of rampant graft in the civil service, today the rakyat took comfort knowing that despite suffering from an epidemic of corrupt Datuks, MARA, Sports and Rural Development More...

By Editor On Saturday, January 7th, 2017
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Your 2017 Rooster Year Horoscope

It’s time once again to sober up our recently paroled resident feng shui expert Master Kok, and ask him what fame and fortune awaits us for the coming year! Rooster: Born in 2005, 1993, 1981, 1969, 1957, Well More...

By Editor On Saturday, January 7th, 2017
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New 1MDB auditor Parker Randall begins tough task of reading through hundreds of scribbled napkins

KUALA LUMPUR:  Newly appointed 1MDB auditor Parker Randall admitted they had taken on more than they bargained for last night, after the self-confessed ‘alternative to the big four audit firms’ received More...

By Editor On Friday, January 6th, 2017
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20 Typically Malaysian News Stories You Will Read In 2017

Submitted by senior field correspondent EJ; 1. A foreign worker will slash another foreign worker because of a love triangle involving a third foreign worker.All three foreign workers will be from different countries. 2. More...

By Editor On Friday, January 6th, 2017
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Angered by pro-Mahathir twin towers outfit, govt demands Miss Universe dress as MRT

KUALA LUMPUR:  Malaysia’s Kiran Jassal came under fire for her controversial outfit choice last night after she unveiled her entry into the flamboyant Miss Universe national costume contest. “Clearly More...

By Editor On Thursday, January 5th, 2017
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After tracking website removal, Bomohs begin search for PM’s plane

KLIA:  Malaysians frustrated by their inability to find the Prime Minister’s Airbus No. 9M-NAA after its removal from plane tracking website www.flightaware.com received assistance from an unexpected source More...

By Editor On Friday, December 16th, 2016
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Govt forms task force to tackle why we have so many committees

PUTRAJAYA:  The government was on high alert this week after a civil service think-tank projected by 2057, every Malaysian man, woman and child, would end up on a some sort of government committee. “Given committee More...

By Editor On Tuesday, December 13th, 2016
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High Speed Rail To Cut Travel Time Between Politicians And Their Money

PUTRAJAYA: Today, Malaysian politicians praised the recently signed High-Speed Rail (HSR) agreement, as the 300kmh train promises to reduce traveling time to their money down south. “The HSR between KL and More...

By Editor On Thursday, December 8th, 2016
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1MDB board confirms China bailout by knowing nothing about it

KUALA LUMPUR:   Today 1MDB gave the clearest signal yet it was indeed in private talks with China to bail out a US$6.5bn debt to Abu Dhabi’s state-owned International Petroleum Investment Company after chairman More...

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