Malaysians not voting say they’re waiting for the one

If you have election fever, we recommend seeing a doctor.


NATION: Today Malaysians unwilling to accept the harsh reality of having to choose the least horrible Prime Minister from two unpalatable choices said they will be sitting out GE14 while they wait for Mr Right.

“Some say politics is about compromise, but I refuse to settle for second best,” said a 21-year-old eligible Malaysian walking past yet another voter registration centre, “if my choices are between ‘Grandpa with a Grudge’ and ‘Mr Cleared of All Charges’ then I pick, ‘none of the above!’”

“I can see our perfect PM now, he’s a young, senior political figure, a fresh face with no baggage we’re all familiar with who appeals to urban and kampung voters.  He’s a defender of Islam and our secular constitution who believes in special privileges and equality for all Malaysians.  He will be cutting taxes and expanding social programmes while not increasing the deficit.  A decisive no-nonsense powerful strongman who believes in restoring the judiciary, transparency and freedom of the press.”

“Best of all, he’s also our first woman Prime Minister!”

“It’s not unreasonable to expect our decades-old stream of political sewage will turn into a clean mountain spring the moment our new PM takes office, is it?”

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