Man Who Made Fake Infant Formula Says Afterlife Warmer Than Expected

THE OTHER SIDE: Today a man who until recently made counterfeit infant formula confirmed the afterlife seemed ‘much warmer’ than he expected after suffering a heart attack over the weekend.

“It all happened so suddenly,” the man confirmed, “one minute I was using melamine to make fake baby powder which causes illness, malnourishment or even death to innocent little babies before packing it into boxes resembling leading infant formula brands, when I suddenly found myself in an afterlife which was hot and uncomfortable!”

The man then had little time to further ponder the situation as he was ordered to attend a compulsory ’afterlife spa treatment’ involving him putting his privates in a blender while being brutally sodomised for the next 10,000 years.

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