Ku Nan: Stop illegal immigration by making M’sia a place no one wants to go


KUALA LUMPUR:  On the heels of his suggestion women could avoid harassment by perverts if they only dressed shabbily enough, Federal Territories Minister Datuk Seri Tengku Adnan Tengku Mansor dazzled his audience last night with more ingenious suggestions to address the rakyat’s concerns as part of the ongoing Tranformasi Nasional 2050 (TN50) dialogue sessions.

“There’s something brilliant about Ku Nan’s ‘thought exercises’ to elevate the nation,” said transformational policy analyst Dr. Abdullah bin Bakar, “having women take responsibility for their own potential kidnapping by not being beautiful demonstrates his unique genius!”

“Last night Ku Nan suggested we could put an end to illegal immigration simply by making Malaysia a place so horrifically bad, no sane person would ever want to set foot here,” said one TN50 dialogue attendee, “given the hardships many foreigners are escaping to come here, it will take the entire nation to get on board with making Malaysia as terrible as possible.”

“The Minister also suggested closing all street eateries to control vermin, removing building carparks to ease city traffic, and told attendees to stop leaving their possessions at home to stop household break-ins.”

In closing Ku Nan suggested car owners keep a bag of fresh cow manure on the backseat so robbers don’t steal it.

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