Abu Dhabi: Govt spends US1.2bil on rug to sweep 1MDB under

UAE:  Today it was revealed Malaysian Second Finance Minister Datuk Johari Abdul Ghani and 1MDB’s group executive director, Arul Kandasamy capped off their low-key Abu Dhabi settlement by doing some shopping.

“1MDB is finally on track to settle its long dispute with Abu Dhabi’s IPIC over the small matter of USD6.5billion ‘accidentally’ going to the Caymans.  The champion negotiators celebrated by buying a US1.2bil rug to sweep all those annoying 1MDB debts under!”  a Finance Ministry spokesman explained.

“This huge antique hand-knotted Middle Eastern carpet symbolises 1MDB’s skill of eventually covering up things it never admitted officially to doing in the first place!”

Finance Ministry officials are still debating the best spot to place the new rug.  Some argue it should cover over the US Dept of Justice’s case for money laundering and kleptocracy, while others believe the rug should be presented to the Chinese without whom this settlement wouldn’t be possible.

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