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Published On: Sat, Jul 30th, 2016

Rahman Dahlan’s Brain: Check With Me First Before Using Mouth To Talk About 1MDB

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PUTRAJAYA:  Today the brains of Barisan Nasional strategic communications director Abdul Rahman Dahlan, said they should have been consulted first, before his mouth exposed his recent opinions about 1MDB and the US department of Justice.

“Why brag about the PM not being specifically mentioned in the DOJ report?” said Rahman Dahlan’s frontal lobe, “is it possible his mouth could provoke US authorities into confirming the identity of Malaysian Official 1 and cause the PM more damage?  The mouth should have checked in with us brains first, to get our side of the story before going public!”

In other news, Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Razak reassured the rakyat the 136-page civil complaint report filed by the US DOJ, does not directly involve 1MDB despite mentioning the troubled wealth fund and its officials, 556 times.

“The PM’s logic is sound,” confirmed a source, “money laundering linked to 1MDB offshore transfers doesn’t directly involve 1MDB because it has no actual US assets.  It’s like how the seafood restaurant where you had lunch isn’t directly involved in your food poisoning because it doesn’t own assets in your toilet at home.”

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