WINDSOR: Today Britain’s private boarding schools promised the nation’s wealthy elite that despite the post-Brexit collapse of their economy, they remain committed to keeping British education within reach to as few Malaysians as possible.
“A British education is an opportunity for the selected few sons and daughters of Malaysia’s wealthy elite to rub shoulders,” explained Eton College Admissions officer, Lord Dermot Crowley, “the last thing we need is the falling pound and exodus of Europeans making British education affordable!”
“When I heard the Brexit was going ahead, I was mortified,” said a well connected Malaysian billionaire, “what if my sons end up befriending the offspring of ordinary people? The only reason I’m sending them abroad is to build a network of elite business and political contacts! I’m praying they might one day be proxies in some international money laundering scheme like a certain 1MDB financier we’ve all heard about!”
“Now that we’re enrolled in Eton, my boys better make friends with the son of a BN Cabinet Minister, royalty, or at least a Tan Sri. If the kids of ordinary Malaysians could afford to attend our precious schools, it would undermine a class system that’s served our nation for years!”