KUALA LUMPUR: Today a youth whose arrest and vandalism stirred up racist mobs in Low Yat Plaza last year admitted to a court he did indeed have smartphones in his possession, but he would never use them for personal gain.
“I would never betray my people’s trust like this,” said the man possibly facing charges, “if I really wanted to steal RM700 smartphones, I wouldn’t have let the security guard hide the evidence would I? Surely outsiders are scheming to topple me as gang leader by exposing untruths and falsifying evidence!”
“Smartphones are often in my personal possession leading up to our gang member elections. These phones are used to buy our way back into our jobs and smooth the electoral machinery of our Low Yat Plaza gang democracy!”
The Low Yat Plaza based group have requested the public ignore information coming from court proceedings concerning the smartphone theft incident and not speculate until an internal gang appointed task-force releases its findings sometime in 2017.