MALAYSIA: Under amendments to the Land Transport Act, drivers working for ride-sharing apps like Uber and GrabCar will soon be legally obligated to to smell as bad as most local Taxis.
“Malaysians have become accustomed to a certain quality of taxi service,” said a cab driver, “if we the world’s worst taxis have to compete with Uber and GrabCar booking app drivers, they must meet local standards!”
“Land Public Transport Commission (SPAD) driver guidelines stipulate all passenger service vehicles should smell like someone slept in them for at least three shifts. Vehicle shock absorbers and seat springs must be as jarring as an 86′ Proton Saga. Ride-sharing drivers must also learn to renegotiate rides mid journey if traffic is heavy or it is raining.”
“Yes these are tough new measures,” said a SPAD spokesman, “but Uber and GrabCar employees must accept we wont allow just anyone to compete with cab drivers, especially if they aren’t paying taxi license fees!”