MALAYSIA: Today, impressionable bored youngsters considered taking up illegal pastimes after news broke 24hr eateries may close at midnight to stop the spread of social ills.
“I love being here with my friends watching late night football,” said a young man, “I guess if that’s not an option after midnight, I can tune up this bike, snatch some purses then go street racing!”
“One reason the government wants to close these mamaks is to get Malaysians to adopt healthier lifestyles,” said a chubby diner, “I’m already looking forward to power-walking the two extra blocks from my house to the 24HR KFC for a 2AM Zinger Burger!”
“This really sucks,” said an angry youth, “but if my mamak does close, there’s no way you’ll see me having a Maggi hot cup at an all night petrol station! Fuck that. I’d rather deal crystal meth!”