PUTRAJAYA: Today, Malaysia warned Beijing if they don’t remove all 100 trespassing Chinese boats currently in Malaysian territorial waters, the government will have no choice but to nicely ask again
“It seems strange China uses patrol boats to guard its own coastline from 2000km away,” said a border security spokesman, “but who are we to argue? Malaysia is a small country, and China buys assets from our debt-laden hedge funds!”
Despite being a small country, we still have ways of punishing China for trespassing, such as spiking Zoo Negara panda Xing Xing’s organic bamboo frappaccinos with full cream milk which makes him painfully farty
Navy Chief Abdul Aziz Jaafar has gone on the record saying Chinese intrusions into our waters has been a daily affair since 2014, with no official response from Beijing despite numerous diplomatic protests from the Malaysian government.
“It seems the Chinese are spending lots of time hanging around the oil-rich Luconia Shoals 120KM north-west of Miri,” said a naval source, “we shadow them whenever they trespass into our waters, but if the Chinese don’t stop this soon, our next diplomatic complaint letter might have to be in bold 12 point Times New Roman!”