Malaysian Bikini Wearers Opting To ‘Get A Sarawakian’

sarawak logging

MALAYSIA:  Today the nation’s intimate waxing parlours announced the complete removal of your own forest reserves is to be called getting a ‘full Sarawakian.’

“Going bare on your Borneo is the new normal,” said one summer fashion observer, “One only has to see how hot Sarawak looks with its remaining 11% primary forest, to see why so many Malaysian bikini wearers are following suit!”

Forest clearing is not just for the ladies, some men are also getting in on the action!
Forest clearing is not just for the ladies, men too are giving it a try! (whether they like it or not.)
Oxygen was a useless byproduct of Sarawak’s trees, however resourceful Malaysians have found a way to convert virgin forest logs into useful paper products like this.
Oxygen is the only useless byproduct of Sarawak’s trees, however some resourceful Malaysians have found a way to convert virgin forest logs into useful paper based items like these.
Sarawak's relatively new Chief Minister Tan Sri Adenan Satem said he will not rest until he identifies those that benefited from the destruction of Sarawaks virgin forests.
Sarawak’s Chief Minister Tan Sri Adenan Satem has vowed he will not rest until he identifies the billionaire beneficiary behind the destruction of Sarawak’s priceless primary forests (whoever he might be).

 

“Personally, I would love to try a Sarawakian wax,” said a visitor to Bangsar’s Virgin Jungle Beauty Parlor, “but won’t my forest only grow back thicker than before?”

“No that’s a myth sorry,” replied a beautician, “once you’ve had a full Sarawakian, your jungle will never regrow the same as it was.  Ever.”

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