PUTRAJAYA: Today Finance Ministry officials were pleased to announce that the debt laden 1MDB wealth fund won’t be requiring anymore standby credit, ‘hairdresser’ inflows, political machinery payments or bailouts.
“We received an opportune letter from someone representing Nigerian Prince Sir Goodbye Goodluck,” said a Finance Ministry Spokesman, “His Highness is burdened with an unwanted 5 billion US dollars which he wanted to send Malaysia as a ‘thank you’ for accepting so many hardworking Nigerian students into our universities!”
“The letter writer corresponding on behalf of the Prince, a Dr Trustworthy Fineface requested the personal banking details of every Minister in Cabinet plus US$500k to facilitate the USD 5Bil wire transfer, “said a Treasury Official, “We faxed all the details to Lagos this morning and the funds should come through to us any minute!”
“It’s such a relief to see a way out of this 1MDB mess” said Third Finance Minister Dato Ibrahim Bakar heading up the Nigerian 1MDB rescue task force.
“Coincidentally, the same day I replied to the Prince’s email, my inbox was suddenly flooded by requests from gorgeous single women looking for companionship! This must be my lucky week!”