Submitted by High Priority Research Editor,
MANCHESTER: Today, the scientific community released groundbreaking new research about sexually active couples which is of far greater interest to the public then a cure for Ebola.
“We interviewed 100 good looking, sexually active women in the area, and according to our findings, women who have two or more orgasms a week live 10% longer,” said Dr Alfie Payne chief researcher from the Manchester Faculty of Socially Awkward Scientists.
“Women who make love on the sofa instead of their beds might live even longer, but we have to talk to many more young volunteers to be 100% certain. I’m testing a thesis that attractive women named Polly who date lonely scientists outlive everybody, but sadly, she wont even return my calls!”
“Yes we in the scientific community are committed to curing Ebola, and we will get to it soon, but I think we can all agree, these studies about sex simply can’t wait!”