MIDDLE EAST: Brave Malaysian comfort women have been boosting the morale of militants by ‘laying down their bodies’ to support the Isis struggle, it has been revealed today.
“This is a very special religious loophole,” said a theological expert, “it allows these sex jihad woman to go to heaven sleeping around for a good cause. I’m sure their parents will be very proud.”
“I always tell the Isis fighters I’m comforting that it’s OK. Just please slow down, and relax,” said a Malaysian woman working ‘under the covers’ in Syria these past few months, “I hate seeing them so frustrated for detonating too soon, but these men have very stressful jobs!”
“My skirmishes with Isis forces have been shorter then expected,” said another sex jihad woman, “sometimes, these militants shoot even before they get their guns out!”