Submitted by Euphoric Market Analysis Editor,
KUALA LUMPUR: Today expert stockbrokers joined forces to remind those that have yet to invest in the stock market, to pile in while they still can.
“Time is running out for investors,” said one broker, “if you don’t get in now, you will definitely miss the next big rally, or market crash, one of those two!”
“This is how the market works. First, the smart money buys in early, then the ‘not quite so smart’ money gets in, then finally once those smarter people tell less smart people how much money they have made being smart, the ‘not quite so smart at all’ people rush in to buy as many stocks as they can from the smart guys at much higher prices in the hope that they will go higher still!”
“World banks are printing up trillions to keep these good times going, so what are you waiting for? People don’t make fortunes by buying at market bottoms when there’s blood in the streets, they do it at market highs when they are the last to join the party, insiders are quietly going to cash and we experts tell you normal boom, bust cycles don’t apply because its different this time!“
“Actually, it is different this time, because this market will keep going straight up, unless of course, it abruptly collapses without warning. We forecasters often only predict market crashes after they have occurred, when it is too late, you’re sleeping in your brother’s car, and it seems obvious in hindsight that the market was doomed.
This time, we promise if we do sense a crash coming, you will be the first to know so you can get all your money out before all the losers panic and liquidate what’s left of their portfolio. That’s because we in the finance industry really value brave, risk taking, IPO buying, insignificant retail investors like you. We really, really do!”