Submitted by Naturalist Quarantining Editor,
GEORGETOWN: Health authorities are on high alert this week after an outbreak of illegal nudism was reported on a secluded Penang beach.
“We are using high-tech screening devices at all Malaysian entry points to intercept these nudists before they infect others,” said a Health Ministry spokesman. “Airports have adapted existing facial recognition scanners to compare X-ray body images against a database of nudist photos sourced from the internet. The process involves long hours studying pictures of naked people, but our staff are very very dedicated!”
“While we have yet to find any more cases of nudism, we recommend Malaysians make themselves aware of nudist symptoms which includes, body painting, beach sports, inappropriate frolicking, and the urge to boycott one’s clothing!”