Submitted by Destitute Economic Expert Editor,
KUALA LUMPUR: Today the estimated 1500 KL homeless yet to be detained under the Destitute Persons Act, praised the government for encouraging first quarter GDP growth figures.
“Malaysia is on target to exceed the world bank’s annual target of 5.2% economic growth,” said one elderly man counting the coins he’d collected in a slurpee cup, “This 6.2% Q1 figure is ahead of the Philippines, Indonesia, Singapore and Thailand! Way to go Malaysia!”
“My money is tied up in rotting scrap food futures, but now that the PM has liberalised the capital markets, I might sell this pile of junk and invest it in some junk bonds!” said a lady hiding from a Welfare Department roundup. “Infrastructure projects like the KIDEX freeway will help us attain even more GDP growth. The RM2.5 billion not squirreled into crony swiss bank accounts and remitted home by foreign road construction workers, will trickle down into the local economy enriching us all!”
“Foreign direct investment is increasing,” said a man lying in the street, “business confidence is improving, the luxury property market is still strong, and we achieved a 10% increase in exports! It used to be difficult to find street accommodation, but with today’s strong domestic demand, there are always good quality discarded cardboard boxes to sleep in. There’s no doubt about it, things are definitely looking up!”