KUALA LUMPUR: As Federal Territories Minister, Tengku Adnan Mansor is not accustomed to paying for many things from his own pocket. This weekend however, he was shocked to discover KL business owners are now charging him higher rates on shopping items after reassessing his value to society.
“I just paid ten times more at my regular tailor,” the Minister grumbled to reporters, “then at a KL kopitiam, my bodyguards and I paid RM100 each for a teh tarik! I see others buy these items at much lower prices, what makes me so special?”
The proprietor of the kopitiam explained, “We KL shop owners used to assess the Federal Territories Minister based on his RM15,000 monthly salary. Recently, we decided he is worth much more and revalued him by 1,000%. We charge him 6% of his hourly rate for a teh tarik, but now the price he pays has risen ten times according to his increased value! I don’t know why he is complaining, he is worth more now! We are still keeping the same 6% drinks rate, as changing that would be unfair!”
“Tenku Adnan is a real treasure,” said his tailor Rakesh who now charges the Minister RM2999 for a simple baju batik, “It’s hard to put a price on a man who downgrades temples to shrines after knocking them down! The man resembling V.K. Lingam mentioned him 11 times on a suspicious judge appointment video so he must be someone really special!”
“Upgrading the Minister’s monetary worth was the least we could do. I wish I could tell you what we are going to do with all the extra money we are charging him,” Rakesh said smiling, “but I’m afraid it’s an official secret!”
“I can try complaining but it seems unlikely I can avoid these increased rates,” said Tengku Adnan in reply, “but why keep me at one rate for so many years then suddenly jack up the prices 2-10 times without warning? It seems very unfair. What kind of desperate clueless people would do something like this?”