Malaysians share tales of economic hardship while queueing for the new gold iPhone 6


Submitted by wish we could have one too Editor,

KLCC SHOPPING MALL:  After weeks of waiting, Malaysians who couldn’t purchase a gold iPhone 6 or 6plus overseas, flocked to Maxis, Celcom and Digi retail outlets this morning to get their hands on the new piece of technical wizardry.   An FMN reporter joined the long line of Apple enthusiasts at Maxis KLCC.

“Life in Malaysia is really tough right now,” a customer in the line explained, “Rising public transport, cigarette and petrol, plus sky-high property prices.  I was so depressed about how broke I am that I thought I better come here with my Amex card and buy myself an expensive handphone to cheer myself up!”

“This new Gold iPhone 6 is amazing!” exclaimed one young woman, “For good luck I’m going to make sure the first person I call with it will be someone who matters more to me than anyone right now, which is my ah long.  I hope he releases my husband and extends my personal loan so I can keep this phone!”

Siri the Apple personal assistant will tell you if you can actually afford a new handphone but it only works on the new iPhone5S
Siri the Apple personal assistant will now warn you if you are spending too much on luxury items but ironically it is only available to those who buy the new iPhone6plus

“I have a lot of problems with money and I can see now it’s 100% due to the government,” said a man paying for a gold iPhone 6plus with his last yet to be cancelled credit card, “If the government operated within it’s means, then we wouldn’t be getting the GST.  They should stop blaming outside forces and take some personal responsibility for their actions!”

“OK I admit on my salary I can’t really afford this phone, and I have a iPhone5S which works perfectly,” admitted another man in the line, “but I cant show up for lunch this Sunday without the bigger screen one.   That stupid cousin of mine will be there and I just bet he is somewhere in KL right now buying the 128GB gold iPhone6 plus with money he doesn’t have.  Well me having one too will really show him.  Whose the broke idiot with an expensive iPhone6+ now Kenny?  Man that stupid guy drives me crazy!”

Psychiatrists will be working double shifts from today to help Malaysian iPhone5 users to come to terms with the fact they no longer use the latest model.
Psychiatrists will be working double shifts from today to help Malaysian iPhone5S users come to terms with the fact they no longer have the latest model.

However a few Malaysians were not convinced these new products were essential purchases, “Yes the new iPhone6’s are awesome, but in six months these fools wont love them anymore because the screens will be all scratched up and the battery life will have run down.  If you need a new handphone by all means buy one but don’t let marketing hype  sucker you into spending money on something you can’t afford.  That’s why I’ve been secretly queuing here for the iPhone7 since July.  Everyone is going to be so jealous of me when I’m the first to own one, just you wait and see!”

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