Submitted by Chickens Home to Roost Editor,
PUTRJAYA: The Malaysian Finance Minister who coincidentally resembles the Malaysian Prime Minister, announced a bold economically sound budget on Friday. As expected, this budget has government hand backs to compensate for last year’s government hand outs. The FM/PM explained the reasoning to the press gallery after the budget was tabled.
“We are implementing a Government Squander Tax of 6%” he explained to reporters, “Over the past few years some lunatic has been on a mad spending and BR1M cheque issuing binge trying to get reelected. This and previous Government’s fiscal irresponsibility has affected Malaysia’s international credit rating and blown out our deficit!”
“So with the preparation of this budget, a difficult choice needed to be made. Either we end closed tender contracts, suspicious capital outflows, unnecessary overseas trips, cronyism, political machinery expenses, needless mega-projects, ‘soft loan’ write offs, GLC bailouts, fishy political ‘donations’ and other corrupt practices, OR we could just hit all Malaysians up for 6% GST to stop international rating agencies from down-grading the country! After careful consideration, we reluctantly chose option two.”
“I want all Malaysians to know it was a close decision between the two options. We flipped a coin several times and it could have gone either way. The 6% Government Squander Tax (GST) is very fair and equitable If you are in financial difficulty and would rather not pay the GST, just fly to Harrods of London and do your shopping there. Tourists to the UK can claim back the British GST at Heathrow airport so it’s a double win!”
“Now is the time to take bold tax initiatives like this one,” the Finance Minister confessed, “We could have hit the rakyat with a GST last year, but it might have cost us the election. By rolling out the GST in 2015, voters have a few good years before GE14 to hopefully forget all about this budget!”