KUALA LUMPUR: In a surprising turn of events, the Prime Minister’s dream of uniting the country is coming true. Malaysians of all races and ages are finding their disgust at the antics of Ibrahim Ali, leader of right-wing Malay supremacist group Perkasa has proven to be far greater than their normal interracial prejudices.
“You know, I don’t care if you are Malay, Chinese or Indian. It doesn’t matter what politics you believe, the food you eat or religion you follow, if you think Ibrahim Ali is a racist dickwad then you’re my Malaysian brother!” an emotional man told FMN.
“It’s a magical time to be a Malaysian,” said Lawyer Suresh Singh, “people of all races are coming together online and sitting in mamak stalls to talk about how stupid Ibrahim Ali is with his threats of burning bibles, racial riots and so on. We have a joke around my practice that Ali can’t possibly say anything more stupid, but to his credit every few weeks he somehow seems to top himself!”
“Ibraham Ali has brought me so much happiness,” said Kenny Hong, “A few years ago in a kopitiam I was joking that Ali has to hide on garbage collection days. A beautiful girl named Asha behind me laughed and we got talking. Today she is my wife and we have two precious little girls. All this love we enjoy as a happy interracial couple, is because of that stupid loudmouthed toad!”
Malaysian Hanafi Bakar told FMN, “I have to admit I was once a bit of a racist, but seeing Ali’s right-wing hatred scared me straight! Today because of Ibrahim Ali I find myself reaching out to more non-Muslims to apologize for his disgraceful behavior. I want people from other races to know not all us Malays think and behave like he does.”
“It seems unfair we are the only ones to benefit from the lessons Ibrahim provides,” Hanafi continued, “I think we should share him with the whole world. Now if only we could find a country that will take him!”