Terengganu schedules more building collapses to boost economy

Submitted by Crumbling Structures Editor,

Rebuilding collapsed structures is now a vital part of the Terengganu state economy.
The rebuilding collapsed structures industry is now a vital part of the Terengganu state economy.

KUALA TERENGGANU:   There is a jubilant mood among locals this morning when it was announced that the one-year-old Masjid Kampung Raja had survived another night.   Since the recent first anniversary of the mosque’s completion, residents have been attending all night prayer vigils to keep the building from collapsing.

“Once a building has stood in Terengganu for a year, people start to get nervous,” the mosque’s bilal explained, “we don’t really know exactly when it will fall down, but it is due about now.”

CEO of Here Today Sdn Bhd told FMN, “As a supplier to the state government, the one thing we don’t want to do is cut corners.  That’s why the structure of any building contract must be solid.  We pay a solid 30% commission to the government officer who awards us the project, and then if we have any change from that, we try building something.  We may omit some non-essential steel support beams and concrete to keep everything on schedule.”

“It’s not easy working under these conditions,” he continued, “have you ever tried constructing a RM10 mil hospital for RM7 mil?   We don’t expect all our buildings to collapse but those that do are specially designed to only fall down at night.  We wouldn’t want to see anyone getting hurt!”

A young khalifa looks to the heavens for God and ceiling cracks
In a Terengganu masjid, a young khalifa looks to the heavens for signs from God, and ceiling cracks.

The Minister for Carrying Cash at Airports had this to say on the matter, “It’s great to see our Bumiputera economic participation policies working!  Rebuilding the  Kampung Tebauk Mosque, Terengganu Stadium and the 13 other state structures that have collapsed in the past 10 years has stimulated our economy.  I just wish more empty buildings would fall down in the dead of night so hard-working Malaysians can get up in the morning and build them all over again!

“This is outrageous!”  said PAS MP Raja Kamarul Bahrin, “Why has there never been any investigation or court hearings for these incidents?  What is the Government trying to hide?

Fleeing collapsing buildings has kept the local track and field team in peak physical condition.
Terengganu track and field athletes have consistently won gold medals at the coveted ‘fleeing collapsing buildings‘ category of the Asian Games.

In response, the Terengganu government called a meeting involving state procurement officials and approved building contractors.  The goal of the inquiry was to find the cause of the construction disasters and to black list those responsible.  Unfortunately the scheduled hearings have been cancelled after attendees were too afraid to enter the one-year-old State Executive Council Building.

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