Submitted by; Holy Spelunking Editor,
BATU CAVES: Doldrum Estates Sdn Bhd has been instructed by the PR State Government to stop work on a group of 29 story serviced apartments near the famous Batu Caves temple after concerns that they would obscure the surrounding limestone mountains and desecrate the temple.
“We are sworn to protect sacred Indian places of worship at the first hint of any potential threat,” Sri Subramaniar Temple committee chairperson R Nadabrainlah told reporters, “So 5 years after the initial approval for the condominium project, we have leapt into action!”
Padang Serai independent MP N Gobalow told FMN, “Yes the Selayang Municipal Council under Barisan Nasional approved this contract with no proper environmental assessment in 2007 then 2008 again just weeks before the new PR state government was sworn in, but the fact PR has not undone this stupidity proves they are anti-Hindu. People should learn from this and reelect us because nobody can fix the lousy decisions the BN makes like BN!”
“People need to respect our faith in a supremely powerful unseen force that affects true believers in our party,” said a Gerakan spokesman, “That is the power of greed. This powerful greed makes a politician seeking retirement money sign a stupid contract in the dying days of his administration to the detriment of all Malaysians as a last hurrah!”
“Dr M finalised the Singapore crooked bridge contract in his final months and Pak Lah ‘settling’ some oil rich offshore blocks with the Sultan of Brunei one month before his departure in 2008 are good examples of ‘a last hurrah’ on your way out. With these types of deals, it doesn’t matter if the project eventually goes ahead or not. The right contractual compensation clauses for cancellation still ensure the right pockets get filled with cash.”
Former Works Minister Samy Vellu was on hand to defend Malaysian Indians, “The proposed apartments will be an eyesore,” he told reporters at a staged protest to impress the Indian community, “The Middle Ring Road 2 flyover built in 2002 is already an eyesore but I approved it because I was pretty sure it would crack and collapse before it upset too many Indians. I’m surprised it’s still standing actually!”
Samy said, “The easiest way we can think of to resolve this once and for all is the Works Ministry to award a RM50 Billion contract to move the entire limestone mountain, caves, temple and wildlife to little India. Hopefully we can get this mountain moving contract funded and signed up quickly before the we are all thrown out in the upcoming General Election. We could use a last hurrah ourselves!”
This did not happen.