MCA: Wish we were as hot as sex bloggers

Fully clothed, this sex blogger is unrecognisable to most Malaysians

 

Submitted by Online Smut Editor,

 

JOHOR:  Malaysians have been publicly disgusted and privately aroused checking out the site www.self-sexploitation.com.  Now, after a week in the limelight, the Star Newspaper is facing the harsh reality that the public will soon tire of an offensive young couple sharing their sex lives online, and the newspaper will have to share offensive stories about the Prime Minister‘s reelection campaign instead.

 

The star has dedicated a crack team of journalists to produce numerous stories about the sex blog couple, interviewing parents, politicians, psychiatrists and the bloggers themselves so all Malaysians can be outraged by their shameless behavior.

 

“These people are the shame of the nation!” said one observer,  “It’s sad that there are those who have no principals at all  Their desire for attention is so great that they will do anything to be noticed regardless of the morality of it.  That’s why I find these Star Newspapers so repulsive.  The sex bloggers by comparison seem a lot nicer.”

“I would never have known about this smutty couple if it hadn’t been for the Star Newspaper featuring it all this week and interviewing them on RED FM,” said a reader. “now I’m so revolted by these filthy pictures and videos that I’ve downloaded all of them to watch privately.”

“This story was a real godsend,” a Star editor confessed to FMN, “we have been running so many pro Barisan Nasional election stories lately that our credibility and circulation numbers have fallen considerably.  We can’t publish anything suggesting there are index crimes or report ‘NFC style’ corruption taking place, or else the Home Ministry will reconsider our publishing license.  At least when we pretend to be outraged by amateur Internet porn might we find people actually read our paper instead of using it to wrap ikan keli!”

 

Police are working overtime checking sex blogs to ensure other Malaysians are not posting similar pornographic material.  Some are so committed they have to be reminded to go home to their wives and families.

 

Youth chief Datuk Wan King Gai took time out from the MCA annual meeting to discuss the notoriety of the liberated lovers,  “We are seriously considering appointing the sex blogger couple to senior MCA posts in the hope more Malaysian Chinese pay attention to us.  Party president Datuk Seri Dr Chua has shown great interest in spending time alone with the couple to get to know them a little better.”

“Why are so many making a fuss over this?” Said Alvin Tan one of the internet erotica  stars,  “Our sex life is a private affair between us, and anyone with a pulse and an Internet connection!   I don’t see what the problem is, I’m only doing to my girlfriend what Barisan Nasional has been doing to the nation for years!”

 

 

This did not happen.

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