DPM and UAE Minister talk CRAP*

Submitted by FMN FLAE

KL:  The Malaysian DPM greeted the arriving UAE CM for Ministry Chiefs, H.E Sheikhn Not Sturhd.  He is visiting today as part of the DGEP.  The DPM met H.E at KLIA and shared a limo destined for the MOFA complex, Wisma Putra to discuss strategy ahead of the October 2012 IAACA conference at KLCC.

The DPM explained,  “For the MCS we felt the old TQM systems were like sooo Islam Hadari.   Now PERMANDU and UPPQ are implementing the GTP.   Some departments got 5 stars by MAMPU, recognizing several exceptional ICU’s.  As DPM, I implement the BSC since the last ICM and we also have MAMPU and MACC advising the PSD overseen through a bi-partisan PSC.

“We scrapped the SBPA for the SSM to keep the MCS motivated.  It works by linking KPI’s to the KIK focused on the NKRA or the MKRA.  We encourage PCI in each department as documented on E-government portals that passed the MGPWA.”

“To boost GDP via the NEP in the 11th Malaysia plan, BN identified NKEA’s using our NKRA’s as a basis for the ETP via several EPPs for SMEs which may involve MIDA enabling a UKAS or via the 1MDB.  Meanwhile the rakyat receives BR1M, that they can spend at KR1M, KK1M, MR1M, KB1M, KIR1M, or buy a house through the PR1MA.”

“That’s it in a nutshell.  It’s all pretty straightforward actually.”

Though fluent in English, H.E requested a translator shortly after.

 

 

Glossary

(the ones marked * are the fake ones)

1MDB 1Malaysia Development Bhd
BN Barisan Nasional
BR1M 1Malayisa cash handouts
BSC Balance Score Card
CM Chief Minister
CRAP* Current Regulations, Affairs, and Policy
DGEP Dubai Government Excellence Programme
DPM Deputy Prime Minister
EPP Entry Point Projects
ETP Economic Transformation Programme
FLAE* Four Letter Acronym Editor
FMN Fake Malaysia News
GDP Gross Domestic Product
GTP Government Transformation Program
H.E His Excellency
IAACA International Association of Anti-Corruption Authorities
ICM Implementation Council Meeting
ICU Implementation Coordination Unit
KB1M 1Malaysia bookstore
KIK Innovative and Creative Group
KIR1M 1Malaysia seafood
KK1M 1Malaysia Fabric Stores
KL Kuala Lumpur
KLCC Kuala Lumpur Convention Centre
KLIA Kuala Lumpur International Airport
KPI Key Performance Indicator
KR1M 1Malaysia groceries and food
MACC Malaysian Anti-Corruption Commission
MAMPU Malaysian Administrative Modernisation and Management Planning Unit
MGPWA Malaysia Government Portals and Websites Assessment
MIDA Malaysian Investment Development Authority
MKRA Ministerial Key Results Areas
MOFA Ministry of Foreign Affairs
MR1M 1Malaysia meals
MCS Malaysian Civil Service
NEM New Economic Model
NEP New Economic Policy
NKEA National Key Economic Area
NKRA National Key Result Areas
PCI Productivity, Creativity and Innovation
PERMANDU Performance Management and Delivery Unit
PR1MA 1Malaysia Public Housing Project
PSC Parliamentary Select Committee
PSD Public Service Department
SBPA Public Service New Remuneration Scheme
SME Small Medium Enterprise
SSM Civil Servant Malaysian Remuneration Scheme
TIA Terengganu Investment Authority
TQM Total Quality Management
UAE United Arab Emirates
UKAS Public-Private Partnership Unit
UPPQ Management and Modernisation Quality Unit (UPPQ)

 

The above story did not happen. For more stories that did not happen please visit www.fakemalaysianews.com

more recommended stories

Follow us on Facebook