PUTRAJAYA: At the Press Gallery today, the Prime Minister took a few questions from reporters. One journalist queried, “Prime Minister, most Malaysians are tired of the uncertainty not knowing when the election will be called. Many cannot plan their Haj pilgrimages or overseas trips. Also many international companies and investors are holding off injecting vitally needed foreign investment into the country without knowing the outcome of GE13 and we are all wasting time and energy bickering. Won’t you please settle this issue and set a firm date for later this year?”
The PM being in a dickish mood, decided for a laugh to tease the press with possible election dates as well as demonstrate his mastery of basic mathematics.
“OK OK I’m going to give you some clues now to calculate when the election will be called,” he chuckled to audible groans in the room, “UMNO is 66 years old this year though it might feel longer to some, Malaysia just marked its 55th year of Merdeka and Sabah Umno is 22 years old. My wife also told me to tell you she is 11 years younger than I am. But these are not the real clues to determine the date.”
Instead take 5% of the RM32 Billion Klang Valley Mass Rapid Transit project, 5% of the cost of building the KLIA2 airport upgrade, 7% of the cost of the PNB ‘Warisan Merdeka’ 100 story mega tower project, 5% of the RM26 Billion Kuala Lumpur International Financial District (KLIFD), 5% of the RM7.07 Billion Banting-Taiping highway, 4% of the RM8 Billion Gemas-JB double-track rail project, 5% of the RM6 Billion KL LRT extension, plus the potential Malaysia-Singapore Rapid Transit System Link, put them together and then do you know what you get?”
“I’ll tell you what you get. You get a guy who would be crazy to risk an election loss until he has finished banking all this sweet tea money from these juicy projects into his Swiss Bank account!”
This story did not happen.