Merdeka food court incident: Man questioned

foodcourtPENANG: Today Police spent hours questioning a man they believe is using hypnotic mind control on unsuspecting members of the public.

Yu Ah Slee Pi has been advertising the benefits of hypnosis for weight loss, depression and to achieve financial goals at his one-day “Mind control your brain for personal success” life coaching seminars.

Yu Ah Slee Pi told the press, “Last week I wanted to demonstrate the potential of hypnotic suggestion to my training course attendees so I hypno-suggested to an entranced volunteer onstage that on Merdeka evening, he go to Queensbay Mall, order some mee curry and twitter a greeting.  The problem is I think I may have unintentionally hypnotized my entire audience of 120 people.”

On Friday, witnesses reported hundreds of glassy eyed people sitting in the Queensbay Mall food court in front of a delicious bowl of mee curry furiously tweeting Merdeka greetings to the Prime Minister from 8.19pm until about 8.35pm.  After questioning, police collected Yu Ah Slee Pi at his Georgetown home where he was taken to Queensbay and ordered to release the estimated 110 people from the trance.

“If I knew I was this good I would hypno-suggest students to sign up for my RM10,000 five week mastery course!  It’s not all bad news though; I’ve been hired by the Barisan Nasional as a consultant to help them convince the electorate to vote for them in the upcoming General Election.

 

 

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the above story did not happen.

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