JAWI reps attacked in bookshop

Submitted by: Saucy Literature Editor

 

SUBANG:  Bestselling fictional book, “50 shades of Grey” an erotic tale of a young journalist and her billionaire dominatrix boyfriend, has topped Malaysia’s best seller lists for weeks.  Representatives from the Home Ministry’s Federal Territory Islamic Affairs Department (JAWI) is considering a ban on the book for its steamy content.

“No way am I letting these creeps ban my precious 50 Shades book,” said 44-year-old housewife Sue Hor Ni.  “Locking the bathroom door and reading something racy in the tub is all’s that’s keeping me going.  My lousy husband is out watching football most nights.”

Ali Wat Bin Said, one JAWI member told FMN, “I was in the Borders Bookshop interrogating the staff about  the “50 shades” novel before instigating our typical pre-ban store manager prosecution.  We were instead attacked by a number of sexually frustrated middle-aged women who threw copies of the whole “grey” trilogy at me.  When they came at me with the leather studded limited edition boxed set, I was forced to flee.”

Literature student, 24-year-old Wan Dawai is the youngest member of the JAWI team, and has been outspoken in his view that the books be banned.  He told FMN he met with the leader of the Malaysian “50 shades” fan club, 38-year-old multi-millionaire and recent divorcee Datin Annie Wak Yu to explain his decision.

“ I visited Datin Annie at her KL Central office last week,” Wan said.  “She kept me waiting an hour then greeted me with a smile and an intense stare. I was uncomfortable in her presence.   She remarked I looked a little flushed.  She had been out shopping and purchased several rolls of masking tape and rope.  She said, ‘You really should reconsider your position about this book.  Perhaps you need persuading.’  I later joined Ms. Annie at her luxury apartment, which she called her playroom.   She asked if I could sign a special contract she had prepared before continuing our negotiations…”

 

 

 

 

The above story did not happen. For more stories that did not happen please visit www.fakemalaysianews.com

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