Realistic Male Sex Robot Rolls Over And Goes To Sleep After 2 Minutes

BUTTERWORTH: Local tech startup Hia Today Bhd, unveiled Malaysia's entry into the burgeoning love doll industry today with the release of a hyper-realistic male sex robot designed to make its users feel the pleasures of having a man…

Politics

Citizen Liow Slams MCA Beer Fest Backdown

PETALING JAYA:   Today enraged YouTube celebrity 'Citizen Liow' slammed MCA politicians for not doing enough to defend his rights following the cancellation of the 2017 Better Beer Festival. "Weeks ago some politician…

PM Arrives For Trump Talks Sporting Bold New Look

  WASHINGTON: Arriving ahead of his first official meeting with Donald Trump since he became President, diplomatic officials close to Najib Razak confirmed the Malaysian PM will be showcasing a bold new…

White House: Trump Summons PM To Bend The Knee

    WASHINGTON: Officials in Putrajaya have confirmed receiving a diplomatic summons by raven last night from the Hand of US President Donald J. Trump of New York, Son of Fred Trump,…

Headlines

There’s No Compulsion In Beer

KUALA LUMPUR: In the wake of the DBKL decision to cancel the annual Better Beer Festival, experts have reminded authorities there is no…

Prasarana Chair Warns Of Twitter Crackdown On M’sians Not Using Public Transport

    KUALA LUMPUR: In a powerful statement, newly appointed Prasarana Chairperson, Tan Sri Khalid Abu Bakar vowed to pull out all the…

Angered By Late Payment, Abu Dhabi Splashes 1MDB Office With Hummus

KUALA LUMPUR:  The nation suffered humiliation in the form of hummus this evening after the offices of 1MDB were attacked by Middle Eastern…

High-Tech Train Will Get You To A Medieval Public Flogging In 4 Hours

  KUANTAN: At a special ground breaking ceremony, the government recently unveiled an RM55 billion, state of the art, modern, high-tech East Coast…

Editor’s Choice

If Only Her VISA Card Was Fake Too, Nazri Says

  KUALA LUMPUR:  Sources close to Tourism and Culture Minister Datuk Seri Nazri Aziz confirmed today the viral image of his wife’s official-looking…

Ku Nan: Stop illegal immigration by making M’sia a place no one wants to go

  KUALA LUMPUR:  On the heels of his suggestion women could avoid harassment by perverts if they only dressed shabbily enough, Federal Territories…

‘Buffering’ Harapan logo symbolizes long wait for coalition to get its shit together

  KUALA LUMPUR:   Today supporters voiced their approval of a proposed Pakatan Harapan coalition logo featuring a buffering symbol. “This buffering Harapan logo…

M’sia can kiss the PM’s RM150bil Indian investment deals goodbye, Modi tells poet Perlis Mufti

NEW DELHI:  Today a spokesman for Indian Prime Minister Narenda Modi had a message to all Malaysians in response to the delightful poem…

In Focus

Youths Protected From Despacito For The Seconds It Takes To Find On YouTube

    PUTRAJAYA:   Last night, Radio Televisyen Malaysia (RTM) ceased all broadcasts of the…

Thousands Forgive 1MDB Scandal After Riding MRT

    KAJANG: After an enjoyable ride along the new MRT Sungai Buloh-Kajang (SBK) line…

Middle East Restores Ties After Remembering Qatar Owns Harrods

  LONDON:   Middle Eastern Gulf states including Saudi Arabia, UAE and Bahrain hastily restored all…

National

Molesting Cardboard Shell Models Completely Normal Say Doll Owners

  TOKYO:   Japanese Hiroki Fook and girlfriend Mayu Lovebot#34578 today defended the Malaysians recently photographed…

State govt asked how contractors can afford RM180,000 trees not dead, only hibernating

KUALA TERENGGANU:  Today botanists confirmed like the exotic trees seen on Bandar Baharu Kuala Nerus,…

Zakir Naik proves he’s a PR-worthy adopter of M’sian habits by telling India he’s ‘on the way’

KUALA LUMPUR:  Today Malaysian Home Ministry officials defended the decision to award Islamic televangelist Dr…

Tech

RM69.6mil Jackpot Winner Still Saying iPhone X Too Expensive

  PENANG: The winner of a RM69.6mil jackpot, the largest ever in Malaysia’s history has admitted he still can’t bring…

Zairil’s ‘fake photo’ defence inspires thousands caught by speed cameras

KUALA LUMPUR:   Today the 10,000 plus motorists caught on speed camera by the Road Transport Department, agreed with Bukit Bendera…

PM’s New App Lets You Tell Him It Was A Waste Of Money

NATION: Today Malaysians learned there is an official Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak smartphone app which may be used to…

Sport

RIO: Shuttlers Swat Zika Mosquitos In Preparation For Mixed Doubles Final

RIO:  With Malaysia one step away from a historic first Olympic gold medal for Mixed…

Sex

Inspired by PM, local sperm bank returns donations

PUCHONG:  Today, local sperm bank Designer Babies 4U announced it would follow the Prime Minister’s example by returning its not utilised donations.…

Exclusive

FMN TURNS 5! We share our best headlines. Also,why fake news sucks (but satire is good for you)

  FMN turns 5 next week so we’re taking a break from breaking news to look back at the nation's most pointless…

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